Off with their heads!
by swisstony
Summary: Character death.


For those first few moments I don't know what's happening, and then it all sinks suddenly back in crashing on top of me a wave on unbearable pain

For those first few moments I don't know what's happening, and then it all sinks suddenly back in crashing on top of me a wave on unbearable pain. I stumble, my legs stop working and then I fall to my knees; crouching.

It hurts, it really hurts it didn't hurt before. Everything is so real now, so sharp. I can't breath I'm hyperventilating, me hyperventilating! I can't believe it, any of it.

I always thought, always promised myself that if this ever happened I would be brave I'd stick two fingers up at the world; I'd fight.

But reality which is what this is it is completely different from imagination. In reality I am not fighting, in reality I'm scared, in reality I don't want to die.

She's there suddenly next to me, she's screaming but I can't hear her. I can't hear anything except the thudding of my slowing heart beat.

The blood which wasn't there at first suddenly seeps out of me coating my garish neon dress. She's pressing her hand against my stomach sending shock waves of pain ricocheting through my body. It's almost as if she's trying plug the dyke, so to speak; trying to force everything back into place. But it won't go back into place; it just keeps spilling out of me.

I'm cold. It's not a normal cold, it's a chill that's starts from the inside out my organs a freezing like a clock work toy I'm winding down, switching off.

I don't want to go. Not because I have a desperation to cling to my life, but because I don't, I can't leave her. Not her. I only realise it now in the last few seconds of my life that I love her; that I've always loved her.

We've wasted so much time bickering and sniping about rubbish, and not spent nearly enough time in bed.

My life does not flash before my eyes; all that seems to exist is us in that moment. Her, me, the blood, and the pain.

I wanted her from the moment I saw her, I had never have never felt like that about anyone else. She'd been wasting herself on that moron Johnny Two Hats. It was hard to worm my way in to their cosy duo, but I managed it eventually joining their 'band'. But it was never easy she made me work and work hard for her always placing some obstacle in my path. First Johnny, and then that idiot from that run down crap-hole of a Zoo. I hate animals, I hate Zoos and I hate boys.

Still at least that idiot got rid of the Johnny problem, and then we got rid of him. I wanted to kill him but she wouldn't let me, I still think about killing him I always imagine he'd squeal when the knife went in.

The knife, I remember and go back to dying.

She's holding my hand stroking my face, she's telling me things I'm watching her lips I desperately want to hear her but I can't. She's crying the tears are falling from her eyes splashing against my cheeks.

I've never seen her cry. It's beautiful she's resplendent in her torture. I know that she loves me, and I know that like me she's only now realising it. Our fingers lace together and I never ever want to let her go. It's getting dark, I'm afraid of that darkness because it's calling for me; coming for me she can't see it.

'I love you, I love you, I love you.' I sob.

I should have said that to her the first time we made love or the second or the third or any of those times in between.

Still that wasn't the way we were not slushy, god listen to me I'm even talking about myself about us in the past tense like I'm already dead.

I saw a film once that said something about views and dying and I'm thinking she's not a bad one, she's not a bad view to close your eyes to she never was.

I'm tired, so tired I struggle to keep my eyes open to keep them on her.

The pain is gone. All the feeling is, I can't touch her she can't touch me I'm completely numb.

I don't think I'm breathing anymore, I don't think I've been breathing for a long time now. I think I'm already dead, I think I might have died a few minutes ago and not known it. This is nothing like it is in the movies or on TV this is really weird.

I call her name, her real name but she can't hear me she's just crying.

And then, and then, and then…

Nothing…just nothing…


End file.
